~PK’s Jokes~

The average age of the military man is 19 years.  He is a short haired, tight-muscled kid who, under normal circumstances is considered by society as half man, half boy. Not yet dry behind the ears, not old enough to buy a beer, but old enough to die for his country.  He never really cared much for work and he would rather wax his own car than wash his father’s, but he has never collected unemployment either.

He’s a recent High School graduate; he was probably an average student, pursued some form of sport activitie s, drives a ten year old jalopy, and has a steady girlfriend that either broke up with him when he left, or swears to be waiting when he returns from half a world away  He listens to rock and roll or hip-hop or rap or jazz or swing and a 155mm howitzer.

He is 10 or 15 pounds lighter now than when he was at home because he is working or fighting from before dawn to well after dusk.  He has trouble spelling, thus letter writing is a pain for him, but he can field strip a rifle in 30 seconds and reassemble it in less time in the dark.  He can recite to you the nomenclature of a machine gun or grenade launcher and use either one effectively if he must.

He digs foxholes and latrines and can apply first aid like a professional.

He can march until he is told to stop, or stop until he is told to march.

He obeys orders instantly and without hesitation, but he is not without spirit or individual dignity.  He is self-sufficient.

He has two sets of fatigues: he washes one and wears the other. He keeps his canteens full and his feet dry.

He sometimes forgets to brush his teeth, but never to clean his rifle. He can cook his own meals, mend his own clothes, and fix his own hurts.

If you’re thirsty, he’ll share his water with you; if you are hungry, his food. He’ll even split his ammunition with you in the midst of battle when you run low.

He has learned to use his hands like weapons and weapons like they were his hands.

He can save your life - or take it, because that is his job.

He will often do twice the work of a civilian, draw half the pay, and still find ironic humor in it all.

He has seen more suffering and death than he should have in his short lifetime.

He has wept in public and in private, for friends who have fallen in combat and is unashamed.

He feels every note of the National Anthem vibrate through his body while at rigid attention, while tempering the burning desire to ’square-away ‘ those around him who haven’t bothered to stand, remove their hat, or even stop talking.

In an odd twist, day in and day out, far from home, he defends their right to be disrespectful.

Just as did his Father, Grandfather, and Great- grandfather, he is paying the price for our freedom.  Beardless or not, he is not a boy. He is the American Fighting Man that has kept this country free for over 200 years.

He has asked nothing in return, except our friendship and understanding.
Remember him, always, for he has earned our respect and admiration with his blood.

And now we even have women over there in danger, doing their part in this tradition of going to War when our nation calls us to do so.

As you go to bed tonight, remember this shot. . .

A short lull, a little shade and a picture of loved ones in their helmets.

‘Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands.
Protect them as they protect us.
Bless them and their families for the selfless acts
they perform for us in our time of need.  Amen.’

When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our ground troops in Afghanistan, sailors on ships, and airmen in the air, and for those in Iraq .

There is nothing attached…
This can be very powerful…

Of all the gifts you could give a US Soldier, Sailor, Coastguardsman, Marine,
or Airman, prayer is the very best one.

Man Builds Noah’s Ark (exact scale given in Bible)

Working Replica of Noah’s Ark Opened In SCHAGEN, Netherlands . The
massive central door in the side of Noah’s Ark was opened the first
crowd of curious townsfolk to behold the wonder. Of course, it’s
only a replica of th e biblical Ark , built by Dutch Creationist
Johan Huibers as a testament to his faith in the literal truth of
the Bible.

The ark is 150 cubits long, 30 cubits high and 20 cubits wide.
That’s two-thirds the length of a football field and as high as a
three-story house. Life-size models of giraffes, elephants, lions,
crocodiles, zebras, bison and other animals greet visitors as they
arrive in the main hold. A contractor by trad e, Huibers built the
ark of cedar and pine. Biblical Scholars debate exactly what the
wood used by Noah would have been.

Huibers did the work mostly with his own hands, using modern tools
and with occasional help from his son Roy. Construction began in
May 2005. On the uncovered top deck - not quite ready in time for
the opening - will come a petting zoo, with baby lambs and
chickens, and goats, and one camel.

Visitors on the first day were stunned. ‘It’s past comprehension’,
said Mary Louise Starosciak, who happened to be bicycling by with
her husband while on vacation when they saw the ark looming over
the local landscape.

‘I knew the story of Noah, but I had no idea the boat would have
been so big.’ There is enough space near the keel for a 50-seat
film theater where kids can watch a video that tells the story of
Noah and his ark.

Huibers, a Christian man, said he hopes the
project will renew interest in Christianity in the Netherlands ,
where church going has fallen dramatically in the past 50 years.

Now that I am old and gray…give me the time to tell this new
generation (and their children too) about all your mighty miracles. Psalm 71:18

This is a Christmas Tree

This is a Christmas Tree

This is a Christmas Tree

This is a Christmas Tree

This is a Christmas Tree

This is a Christmas Tree

This is a Christmas Tree

And these are Christmas Trees also

These are NOT  Holiday Trees

They are not Hanukkah bushes

They are not Allah plants

They are Christmas trees.

Say it…

CHRISTmas , CHRISTmas , CHRISTmas

Yes CHRISTmas -not Holiday

We are not celebrating the birth of a Holiday!!!

We are

Celebrating the Birth of

Jesus Christ!!!

So I would like to say to each and everyone of you

Have a Very Merry CHRISTMAS

and may GOD BLESS each and every one of you!!!

Take a stand and pass this on !!

The pickle jar as far back as I can remember sat on the floor beside the dresser in my parents’ bedroom. When he got ready for bed, Dad would empty his pockets and toss his coins into the jar.

As a small boy I was always fascinated at the sounds the coins made as
they were dropped into the jar . They landed with a merry jingle when
the jar was almost empty.  Then the tones gradually muted to a dull
thud as the jar was filled.

I used to squat on the floor in front of the jar and admire the copper
and silver circles that glinted like a pirate’s treasure when the sun
poured through the bedroom window.  When the jar was filled, Dad would
sit at the kitchen table and roll the coins before taking them to the
bank.

Taking the coins to the bank was always a big production   Stacked
neatly in a small cardboard box, the coins were placed between Dad and
me on the seat of his old truck.

Each and every time, as we drove to the bank, Dad would look at me
hopefully.  ’Those coins are going to keep you out of the textile mill,
son. You’re going to do better than me.  This old mill town’s not
going
to hold you back.’

Also, each and every time, as he slid the box of rolled coins across
the counter at the bank toward the cashier, he would grin proudly
‘These are for my son’s college fund. He’ll never work at the mill
all his life like me.’

We would always celebrate each deposit by stopping for an ice cream
cone.  I always got chocolate.  Dad always got vanilla.  When the clerk
at the ice cream parlor handed Dad his change, he would show me the few
coins nestled in his palm.  ’When we get home, we’ll start filling the
jar again.’

He always let me drop the first coins into the empty jar.
As they rattled around with a brief, happy jingle, we grinned at each
other.  ’You’ll get to college on pennies, nickels, dimes and
quarters,’ he said.  ’But you’ll get there; I’ll see to
that.’

No matter how rough things got at home, Dad continued to doggedly drop
his coins into the jar.  Even the summer when Dad got laid off from the
mill, and Mama had to serve dried beans several times a week, not a
single dime was taken from the jar.

To the contrary, as Dad looked across the table at me, pouring catsup
over my beans to make them more palatable, he became more determined
than ever to make a way out for me.  ’When you finish college, Son,’
he told me, his eyes glistening, ‘You’ll never have to eat beans again -
unless you want to.’

The years passed, and I finished college and t ook a job in another
town. Once, while visiting my parents, I used the phone i n their
bedroom, and noticed that the pickle jar was gone.  It had served its
purpose and had been removed.

A lump rose in my throat as I stared at the spot beside the dresser
where the jar had always stood.  My dad was a man of few words, and
never lectured me on the values of determination, perseverance, and
faith.

The pickle jar had taught me all these virtues far more eloquently than
the most flowery of words could have done.  When I married, I told my
wife Susan about the significant part the lowly pickle jar had played
in my life as a boy.  In my mind, it defined, more than anything else,
how much my dad had loved me.

The first Christmas after our daughter Jessica was born, we spent the
holiday with my parents.  After dinner, Mom and Dad sat next to each
other on the sofa, taking turns cuddling their first grandchild.
Jessica be gan to whimper softly, and Susan took her from Dad’s ar ms.
‘She probably needs to be changed,’ she said, carrying the baby into my
parents’ bedroom to diaper her. When Susan came back into the living
room, there was a strange mist in her eyes.

She handed Jessica back to Dad before taking my hand and leading me
into the room.  ’Look,’ she said softly, her eyes directing me to a
spot on the floor beside the dresser. To my amazement, there, as if it
had never been removed, stood the old pickle jar, the bottom already
covered with coins.  I walked over to the pickle jar, dug down into my
pocket, and pulled out a fistful of coins.  With a gamut of emotions
choking me, I dropped the coins into the jar.  I looked up and saw that
Dad, carrying Jessica, had slipped quietly into the room. Our eyes
locked, and I knew he was feeling the same emotions I felt. Neither one
of us could speak.
This truly touched my heart.  I know it has yours as well. Somet imes we
are so busy adding up our troubles that we forget to count our

Never underestimate the power of your actions.  With one small gesture
you can change a person’s life, for better or for worse.

God puts us all in each other’s lives to impact one another in some
way. Look for Good in others.

The best and most beautiful things cannot be seen or touched - they
must be felt with the heart ~ Helen Keller
-       Happy moments, praise God.
-       Difficult moments, seek God.
-       Quiet moments, worship God..
-       Painful moments, trust God.
-       Every moment, thank God.

A minister passing through his church
in the middle of the day,

Decided to pause by the altar
and see who had come to pray.

Just then the back door opened,
a man came down the aisle,

The minister frowned as he saw
the man hadn’t shaved in a while.

His shirt was kind a shabby
and his coat was worn and frayed,

the man knelt, he bowed his head,
Then rose and walked away.

In the days that followed,
each noon time came this chap,

each time he knelt just for a moment,
A lunch pail in his lap.

Well, the minister’s suspicions grew,
with robbery a main fear,

He decided to stop the man and ask him,
‘What are you doing here?’

The old man said, he worked down the road.
Lunch was half an hour.

Lunchtime was his prayer time,
For finding strength and power.

‘I stay only moments, see,
because the factory is so far away;

as I kneel here talking to the Lord,
This is kind a what I say:

‘I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,

HOW HAPPY I’VE BEEN,

SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER’S FRIENDSHIP

AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.

DON’T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY,

BUT I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.

SO, JESUS, THIS IS JIM

CHECKING IN TODAY.’

The minister feeling foolish,
told Jim, that was fine.

He told the man he was welcome
To come and pray just anytime.

Time to go, Jim smiled, said ‘Thanks.’
He hurried to the door.

The minister knelt at the altar,
he’d never done it before.

His cold heart melted, warmed with love,
and met with Jesus there.

As the tears flowed, in his heart,
he repeated old Jim’s prayer:

‘I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, LORD,

HOW HAPPY I’VE BEEN,

SINCE WE FOUND EACH OTHER’S FRIENDSHIP

AND YOU TOOK AWAY MY SIN.

I DON’T KNOW MUCH OF HOW TO PRAY, BUT

I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.

SO, JESUS, THIS IS ME CHECKING IN TODAY’

Past noon one day, the minister noticed
that old Jim hadn’t come.

As more days passed without Jim,
he began to worry some.

At the factory, he asked about him,
learning he was ill.

The hospital staff was worried,
But he’d given them a thrill.

The week that Jim was with them,
Brought changes in the ward.

His smiles, a joy contagious.
Changed people, were his reward.

The head nurse couldn’t understand
why Jim was so glad,

when no flowers, calls or cards came,
Not a visitor he had.

The minister stayed by his bed,
He voiced the nurse’s concern:

No friends came to show they cared.
He had nowhere to turn.

Looking surprised, old Jim spoke
up and with a winsome smile;

‘the nurse is wrong, she couldn’t know,
that in here all the while

everyday at noon He’s here,
a dear friend of mine, you see,

He sits right down, takes my hand,
Leans over and says to me:’

I JUST CAME AGAIN TO TELL YOU, JIM,

HOW HAPPY I HAVE BEEN,

SINCE WE FOUND THIS FRIENDSHIP,

AND I TOOK AWAY YOUR SIN.

ALWAYS LOVE TO HEAR YOU PRAY,
I THINK ABOUT YOU EACH DAY,
AND SO JIM, THIS IS JESUS

CHECKING IN TODAY.

If this blesses you, pass it on
Many people will walk in and out of your life,

but only true friends will leave
footprints in your heart.

May God hold you in the palm of His hand
and Angels watch over you.

But for those of us who are already His, He not
only h olds us in the palm of His hand, but has
engraved our names there, and we are continually
in His sight (Isaiah 49:16)

Please pass this page on to your friends & loved ones.
If you aren’t ashamed.

Jesus said, ‘ If you are ashamed of me,’ I will be ashamed
of you before my Father.’

If you are not ashamed, pass this on. But only if you mean it..

Yes, I do love God. He is my source of existence and Savior.

He keeps me functioning each and everyday. Without Him, I
will be nothing. Without him, I am nothing but with Him ‘I can
do all things through Christ that strengthens me.’ Phil 4:13

This is too good not to share -

So this is me … Just Checking In

The person who did this was Jack Benny….

You have to read this it is absolutely beautiful……

Each year he sent her roses,

And the note would always say,

I love you even more this year,

Than last year on this day.

My love for you will always grow,

With every passing year.’

She knew this was the last time

That the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses

In advance before this day.

Her loving husband did not know,

That he would pass away.

He always liked to do things early,

Way before the time.

Then, if he got too busy,

Everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems and

Placed them in a very special vase.

Then, sat the vase beside

The portrait of his smiling face.

She  would sit for hours,

In her husband’s favorite chair.

While staring at his picture,

And the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was

To live without her mate.

With loneliness and solitude,

That had become her fate.

Then,  the very hour,

The doorbell rang, and there

Were roses sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in,

And then just looked at them in shock.

Then, went to get the telephone,

To call the florist shop.

The  owner answered, and she asked him,

If  he would explain, Why would someone

do this to her, causing her such pain?

‘I know your husband passed away,

More than a year ago,’

The owner said,

‘I knew you’d call, and you would want to know.’

The flowers you received today,

Were paid for in advance.

Your husband always planned ahead,

He left nothing to chance.

There is a standing order,

That I have on file down here,

And he has paid, well in advance,

You’ll get them every year

There also is another thing,

That I think you should know,

He wrote a special little card…he did this years ago.

Then, should ever I find out that he’s no longer here,

that’s the card that should be sent to you the following year.’

She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.

Her fingers shaking,

As she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside  the card, she saw that he

Had written her a note.

Then, as she stared in total silence,

This is what he wrote..

‘Hello my love, I know it’s been a year

Since I’ve been gone.

I hope it hasn’t been too hard for you to

Overcome.

I know it must be lonely,

And the pain is very real.

Or if it was the other way,

I know how I would feel.

The  love we shared made everything

So beautiful in life.

I loved you more than words can say,

You were the perfect wife.

You were my friend and lover,

You fulfilled my every need.

I know it’s only been a year,

But please try not to grieve.

I want you to be happy,

Even when you shed your tears.

That  is why the roses will be sent to you for years

When you get these roses,

Think of all the happiness that we had together,

And  how both of us were blessed.

I have always loved you and

I know I always will.

But, my love, you must go on,

You  have some living still.

Please…try  to find happiness,

While living out your days.

I know it is not easy,

But I hope you find some ways.

The roses will come every year,

And they will only stop,

When your door’s not answered,

When the florist stops to knock.

He will come five times that day,

In case! You have gone out.

But after his last visit,

He will know without a doubt!

To take the roses to the place,

Where I’ve instructed him

And place the roses where we are,

Together once again.

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;

Someone  who changes your life

Just by being part of it.

Someone who makes you laugh

Until you can’t stop;

Someone  who makes you believe

That there really is good in the world.

Someone who convinces you

That there really is an unlocked door

Just waiting for you to open it.

This is Forever Friendship.

This is the sacred RED ROSE.

You MUST pass this rose on to at least 5 people within

The hour of

Receiving this rose

After you do, make a wish.

If you have passed it on, your wish will come true and love

will come your way shortly.

If not your life will stay the same as it has always been.

Just be nice & pass it on….May we all be loved so much.

Friend, if I don’t get this back I can take a hint!

How many people actually have 8 true friends?

Hardly anyone I know!

But some of us have all right friends and good friends!!!

You have been Tagged by the YELLOW bird!
Which means you are a great friend!!

You will be blessed For Two Years if you send this to 8 people or more

and if this is sent back to you then you know that you are

a true friend…

You have just been hugged!

This is the start of a full-scale Hug O’ War!

So hug everyone you know!

The hug is my favorite sign of affection.

It can mean so much, and many things at the same time.

It can be a sign of love, support, caring, comfort or anything.

So here you go. All I can say it will do is brighten someone’s day.

I mean, we all need a hug once in a while.

So send this on if you’d like, to anyone who may need a hug,
send it back to whoever sent it to you,
Goodness knows, we could all REALLY use a hug sometimes.

Soooo . enjoy your hug and pass one on to someone else . .

especially, someone that really needs one! Thanks …

A young man was getting ready to graduate from college. For many months he
had admired a beautiful sports car in a dealer’s showroom, and knowing his
father could well afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited signs that his father
had purchased the car. Finally, on the morning of his graduation, his father
called him into his private study. His father told him how proud he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much he loved him.

He handed his son a beautifully wrapped gift box. Curious, but somewhat
disappointed, the young man opened the box and found a lovely, leather-bound
Bible, with the young man’s name embossed in gold.

Angrily, he raised his voice to his father and said, ‘With all your money,
you give me a Bible?’ and stormed out of th e house, leaving the Bible.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business. He had
a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father was very old
and thought perhaps he should go to him.

He had not seen him since that graduation day. Before he could make
arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his father had passed away,
and willed all of his possessions to his son. He needed to come home
immediately and take care of things.

When he arrived at his father’s house, sudden sadness and regret filled his
heart. He began to search through his father’s important papers and saw the
still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago.

With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages. His father had
carefully underlined a verse:

Matthew 7:11, ‘And if ye, being evil know how to give good gifts to your
children, how much more shall your Heavenly father which is in heaven, give
to those who ask Him?’

As he read those words, a car key dropped from the Bible.
It had a tag with the dealer’s name, the same dealer who had the sports car
he had desired.

On the tag was the date of his graduation and the words… PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss God’s blessings because they are not packaged as
we expected?

I trust you enjoyed this. Pass it on to others.

Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that
what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for…

IF YOUR GIFT IS NOT PACKED THE WAY YOU WANT IT, IT’S BECAUSE IT IS BETTER
PACKED THAT WAY!……. ALWAYS APPRECIATE LITTLE THINGS; THEY USUALLY LEAD
YOU TO ATTACHMENTS!

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one
could read it every day. You may not realize it, but it’s 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for you.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be
just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like
you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude
remarks.

So .. If you are a loving friend, send this to everyone, including the
one that sent it to you.
If you get it back, then they really do love you.

And always remember….when life hands you Lemons, ask for Tequila and Salt
and call me over!

Good friends are like stars……..You don’t always see them, But you know
they are always there.

“Whenever God Closes One Door He Always Opens Another, Even Though Sometimes
It’s Hell in the Hallway!”

I would rather have one rose and a kind word from a friend while I’m here than a whole truck load when I’m gone.