~PK’s Jokes~

You’ve been MOONed!!!

Happy Halloween!!
You’ve been Mooned!!

One rule to this game….
You can NOT get someone who has already gotten you!
Now…
go out there and get as many people as you can,
before they get you!
I got you first! and you can’t get me back!
Nanee - Nanee - Nanee!
(hehe)

We do not stop playing because we grow old;
we grow old because we stop playing.

The Hormone Guide

Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

No cheating.

If all of the eight desserts listed below were sitting in
front of you, which would you choose (sorry, you can only pick one)! Trust me…this is very accurate. Pick your dessert, and then look to see what psychiatrists think about you.

REMEMBER - No Cheating. Make your choice before you check the meaning.

Here are your choices:

1. Angel Food Cake

2. Brownies

3. Lemon Meringue Pie

4. Vanilla Cake With Chocolate Icing

5. Strawberry Shortcake

6. Chocolate Cake With Chocolate Icing

7. Ice Cream

8. Carrot Cake

No, you can’t change your mind once you scroll down, so think carefully about what your choice will be.

OK - Now that you’ve made your choice, this is what the researchers say about you… SCROLL DOWN—No Cheating

KEEP GOING

KEEP GOING

KEEP GOING

DON’T LOOK

KEEP GOING

ALMOST THERE

JUST A TAD MORE

YOU MADE IT !!!!

1. ANGEL FOOD CAKE — Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzyitems. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times.

2. BROWNIES — You are adventurous, love new ideas, and are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

3. LEMON MERINGUE — Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you are an excellent caregiver and a good teacher. But don’t try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, you set your own style because you do your own thing. You shine when it comes to helping others and have many friends.

4. VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING — Fun-loving, sassy, humorous, not very grounded in life; very indecisive and la cking motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life.

5. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE — Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in return. Intuitively keen. You can be very emotional at times but a true person in every way. You like to do things for yourself and help others learn about themselv es.

6. CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING– Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

7. ICE CREAM — You like sports, whether it be baseball, football,basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy wa tching sports. You don’t like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

8. CARROT CAKE — You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends. You were meant to lead and teach others. A wonderful role model.

Are you tired of those sissy ‘friendship’ poems that always sound good,

but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-

Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad –I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2.. When you are blue — I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3.. When you smile — I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4.. When you’re scared — we will high tail it out of here.

5.. When you are worried — I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining, ya big baby!!!!

6.. When you are confused — I will use little words.

7.. When you are sick –Stay away from me until you are well again. I don’t want whatever you have.

8.. When you fall — I’ll pick you up and dust you off–

After I laugh my butt off!!

9.. This is my oath…I pledge it to the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask — because you are my FRIEND!

Friendship is like peeing your pants,

everyone can see it,

but only you can feel the true warmth.

Send this to 10 of your closest friends,

Then get depressed because you can only think

of 4.

The person who did this was Jack Benny….

You have to read this it is absolutely beautiful……

Each year he sent her roses,

And the note would always say,

I love you even more this year,

Than last year on this day.

My love for you will always grow,

With every passing year.’

She knew this was the last time

That the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses

In advance before this day.

Her loving husband did not know,

That he would pass away.

He always liked to do things early,

Way before the time.

Then, if he got too busy,

Everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems and

Placed them in a very special vase.

Then, sat the vase beside

The portrait of his smiling face.

She  would sit for hours,

In her husband’s favorite chair.

While staring at his picture,

And the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was

To live without her mate.

With loneliness and solitude,

That had become her fate.

Then,  the very hour,

The doorbell rang, and there

Were roses sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in,

And then just looked at them in shock.

Then, went to get the telephone,

To call the florist shop.

The  owner answered, and she asked him,

If  he would explain, Why would someone

do this to her, causing her such pain?

‘I know your husband passed away,

More than a year ago,’

The owner said,

‘I knew you’d call, and you would want to know.’

The flowers you received today,

Were paid for in advance.

Your husband always planned ahead,

He left nothing to chance.

There is a standing order,

That I have on file down here,

And he has paid, well in advance,

You’ll get them every year

There also is another thing,

That I think you should know,

He wrote a special little card…he did this years ago.

Then, should ever I find out that he’s no longer here,

that’s the card that should be sent to you the following year.’

She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.

Her fingers shaking,

As she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside  the card, she saw that he

Had written her a note.

Then, as she stared in total silence,

This is what he wrote..

‘Hello my love, I know it’s been a year

Since I’ve been gone.

I hope it hasn’t been too hard for you to

Overcome.

I know it must be lonely,

And the pain is very real.

Or if it was the other way,

I know how I would feel.

The  love we shared made everything

So beautiful in life.

I loved you more than words can say,

You were the perfect wife.

You were my friend and lover,

You fulfilled my every need.

I know it’s only been a year,

But please try not to grieve.

I want you to be happy,

Even when you shed your tears.

That  is why the roses will be sent to you for years

When you get these roses,

Think of all the happiness that we had together,

And  how both of us were blessed.

I have always loved you and

I know I always will.

But, my love, you must go on,

You  have some living still.

Please…try  to find happiness,

While living out your days.

I know it is not easy,

But I hope you find some ways.

The roses will come every year,

And they will only stop,

When your door’s not answered,

When the florist stops to knock.

He will come five times that day,

In case! You have gone out.

But after his last visit,

He will know without a doubt!

To take the roses to the place,

Where I’ve instructed him

And place the roses where we are,

Together once again.

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;

Someone  who changes your life

Just by being part of it.

Someone who makes you laugh

Until you can’t stop;

Someone  who makes you believe

That there really is good in the world.

Someone who convinces you

That there really is an unlocked door

Just waiting for you to open it.

This is Forever Friendship.

This is the sacred RED ROSE.

You MUST pass this rose on to at least 5 people within

The hour of

Receiving this rose

After you do, make a wish.

If you have passed it on, your wish will come true and love

will come your way shortly.

If not your life will stay the same as it has always been.

Just be nice & pass it on….May we all be loved so much.

Friend, if I don’t get this back I can take a hint!

How many people actually have 8 true friends?

Hardly anyone I know!

But some of us have all right friends and good friends!!!

You have been Tagged by the YELLOW bird!
Which means you are a great friend!!

You will be blessed For Two Years if you send this to 8 people or more

and if this is sent back to you then you know that you are

a true friend…

The thought for today…
Never tick someone off
who owns a backhoe.